I Won't Back Down

(I won't back down...) Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...) hey I will stand my ground
(I won't back down) and I won't back down...

Tom Petty, "I Won't Back Down"

Caroline informed me that this is the song she sings to herself when she is playing field hockey. Fittingly, it was playing on the radio as we drove to her final game of the season on Saturday. We cranked it.

My daughter has become an amazing field hockey player...and it just sort of happened. Check that - She made it happen. She always had a sense of how to play her position, and displayed decent skills. But over the last few games she went from playing only when the ball came to her, to attacking the ball, sticking her nose in the middle of the play, and wanting it. "It" is hard to define because I am not sure what truly motivates her - wanting to win? (doubtful); Wanting to do her best? (most likely); Or maybe wanting to help her team (also most likely). Her all star team tied North Andover yesterday 2-2, but they played an exciting game, tying it in the last few minutes. After getting in the car Caroline said, "It's good that we tied. Both teams deserved to win."


Baby, even the losers,
get lucky sometimes.
Baby, even the losers,
keep a little bit of pride,
they get lucky sometimes.

Tom Petty, "Even the Losers"

Then there is Danny. Hockey hasn't been going according to his expectations. He's doing fine individually (averages a goal a game). But his team has won 3 and lost 11. And Danny is having trouble with that. He seems to take losing personally, and feels as if it's his fault or that he alone is responsible for winning the games....and might be mad that others don't care if they lose.

His Squirt team lost 6-5 against Wilmington yesterday after being down 6-3 in the 3rd period. They rallied - Danny scored the 5th goal, and came close to tying the game in the final seconds. But it was a great game! I want him to learn that winning and losing matters little. Competing and trying your hardest, as an individual and as a team, is the most important thing. And they did that! While everyone else had smiles on in the locker room and a feeling of a job well done, Danny had watery eyes and felt like 'a loser'. That bothers me so much I can't stand it.

Danny scored the team's last 5 goals in their last 4 games (all unassisted). Yesterday there were 4 different kids who scored! I love that he competes and gives his best. He is a great teammate and never says or does anything negative. But I hope he takes pride in what his team has accomplished recently, and pride in their efforts and struggles to do better. They may have lost some games, but what matters most is they lose and they win as a team.